If You Build it, They Will Come
The Odd Couple Finds a Middle-of-Nowhere Biker Bar — and Sparks a Neurodivergent Community
Alysha and I might make an odd partnership at first glance — she’s in her thirties with boundless energy, and I’m a speech therapist in my fifties with a few more miles on my odometer — but one thing we absolutely share is a passion for creating magic together.
With 20 years between us and a deep commitment to bringing people together, we’d been on the hunt for the perfect venue for our new venture. Every place we approached wanted to charge money we simply didn’t have.
That’s where Chris at Twin Oaks Roadhouse came into the picture.
He listened to our plan and immediately connected. His aunt had taught in special education, so the idea was dear to his heart. Even better? Twin Oaks had a tucked-away, dark-side room just off the main dining area where we could take over without disturbing the restaurant hustle and bustle.
That was our very first YES.
We didn’t know if anyone would show up. Honestly.
I was ready to hit the phones old-school style, but Alysha (our resident tech wizard) was already launching an Eventbrite page. Our teamwork? Pure “old school meets new school,” and let me tell you — new school works like magic for getting the word out.
And it paid off.
We had 15 people at our first event! Not bad for our inaugural run!
When I told someone where we were holding it, they raised an eyebrow and remarked, “Oh, that biker bar in the middle of nowhere?”
Well, I guess you could call it that — but Penngrove is quintessentially quaint Sonoma County, and Twin Oaks Roadhouse has a rich history to back it up. It opened in 1924 as a grocery store and gas station before becoming a lively tavern and music venue. Over the years, it’s been owned by local fixtures like the Bottarini family and Sheila Groves before its most recent chapter under Dean Biersch of HopMonk Tavern fame. These days, Twin Oaks is known for its live music, craft beer, and elevated bar bites — not to mention its big, welcoming heart.
And that’s exactly what we felt when we arrived.
Alysha kicked things off with an unforgettable icebreaker activity that had everyone in stitches. She divided the group into two teams and gave each team a “victim” — someone who would be the target of sticky-note warfare. The goal? See how many sticky notes you could cover the person with in one minute. The laughter that filled the room was contagious. But here’s where it got really interesting — the second round had everyone taking the sticky notes off. And let me tell you: it was much harder than it seemed. Watching everyone giggle and struggle to remove the notes without creating chaos was hilarious.
And don't worry — it was completely appropriate. No handsy stuff or weird placements of the notes — just pure fun! Once the ice was broken and everyone had a good laugh, we moved on to the real highlight of the evening: speed friending.
We set up two long rows of tables for speed friending. Participants took conversation-question cards out of a bag like they were surprise party favors — or fidgets — which took some of the pressure off starting small talk. Every two minutes, the outside row would shift down one chair so everyone got a chance to meet someone new.
And I’ll never forget it: the smiles, the laughs, the high fives.
As an educator, my instincts had me worrying about boundaries. Would people exchange phone numbers? Would that lead to stalking or oversharing, like I’d seen in schools?
Not one number was exchanged that night! I had to rethink what “success” actually meant.
They didn’t exchange numbers — not because they weren’t having fun, but because they were fulfilled. They’d gotten their social needs met just by being together in a welcoming space.
Patrons at Twin Oaks Roadhouse told us how touching it was to see the group having fun. Some even shared that they had a neurodivergent loved one and appreciated seeing this kind of community being built.
And it wasn’t just the participants who left happy.
The parents and caregivers, who gathered in another part of the restaurant, had their own kind of magic happening. They were able to relax knowing their kids were nearby, having fun connecting with other adults. Many told us they hadn’t had this kind of “grown-up time” since pre- pandemic times. They said that their social lives had dried up too in many ways. Some had retired. Some found that when their kids graduated from high school, their social circles further diminished as social activities are baked into the school experience whether it be dances, games and picnics. Seeing the same people everyday promotes a sense of comfort and social connectedness. Once that was gone, it was a completely lonely experience for the parents and students alike. One parent was delighted in the down-to-earth nature of the parent conversations exclaiming, “Parents were so fun! Even a few F bombs were dropped and we loved it!” It was adult fun without fear of judgement!
And then there was the Twin Oaks staff — they were so happy we were doing this. It brought them real joy to see everyone ordering independently at the cash register and the bar. Many of the participants had little to no experience ordering on their own or using their debit cards, and the bartenders and servers were endlessly patient and encouraging. Watching these moments of newfound confidence unfold was as rewarding for them as it was for us.
And as for our speed-friending pros? They couldn’t wait to ask, “When’s the next one?” They made sure to tell their parents and caregivers.
By the end of that first event, Alysha and I were exhausted — but exhilarated.
And you could feel it in the air: something special in sleepy Sonoma County was on the horizon…